I am sure there are people in the world who live in constant awareness of divine order. I am not one of them! As I'm sure you've noticed in my writing, I often forget. I get caught up in worrying about people, or anxious about how things will turn out. Thankfully I get back to remembering that I have a choice about the reality I create through my thinking. I write and teach to reaffirm this for myself.
This morning, I found myself swept up into my most common fear du jour, that I don't have enough time to do it all. Oh, how enticing this false belief is! When I'm not aware of myself beginning to slide down that slippery slope, before I realize what's hit me I am caught up in all kinds of negative thinking. I get very focused on all that needs to get done, instead of just enjoying my moments.
One real benefit of life experience is that we are able to notice when we end up in places that we've been before. Our stuck places are more familiar, and we gain more ability to navigate them. We can acknowledge that the thoughts we are having are habitual, but not reality.
I noticed this morning that the to-do list in my head was taking way too much energy. I had the whole beautiful Sunday in front of me, and I was spinning about things like grocery shopping and laundry and writing bills. The funny thing was, the list in my head wasn't just of chores; I was also worrying about how to fit in my get-to-do things like working on my stained glass, meditating, walking, writing, all of the things I do to nurture my spirit. The programming to get it all done can cause even the nurturing things I do for myself to start to feel like too much to accomplish.
Thankfully, I remembered to let the day come to me, instead of the other way around. I decided to stop grasping the possibilities for this day and controlling them, and stand still, and see what happens. I decided to just stop. Stopping is a great spiritual tool, and I'll write more about it in another blog. It is a small leap of faith to turn my attention away from the voice that warns that the sky will fall if everything doesn't get done. It did try to advise me about the dire consequences of starting my week with piles of folded laundry on the living room sofa! The voices of fear and lack always seem so much bigger in the moment. But I persevered. My commitment for today was to just see what the day brought.
What my day brought to me was peace, and alot of color. I immediately noticed the vibrant spring green in my backyard, and the joy that comes from remembering that all I ever have to do is be. That happens often; when I get back into present time the world is much more brightly colored. It is not the world, but I who has changed. When I affirm that things will happen in divine order, it is so. My day was not really different from what it would have been had I struggled with the to-do list in my head, but it was much more gentle. I really enjoyed the message at Unity this morning. The grocery shopping got done, and that was colorful, too, not only the people I watched, but also the whole isle full of hokey pinatas that I don't think I've ever noticed before. My day was blessed with so many delightful details and experiences that I miss when my thoughts are out in the future, or back in the past.
How the rest of today unfolds is left to be seen. Tomorrow at work I plan to keep myself squarely in the present moment, by letting the day come to me, and I will sit back and enjoy the show.
May this tool be a blessing. . .