Come as a Child

I think I’ve mentioned, maybe a time or two, that I find myself too busy at times. It’s a tendency I learned in childhood, taking on too much responsibility for things to try to keep my world safe. I’m not complaining; I’m definitely not the only person in the world who believes at times that she can hold it up single-handedly. That particular part of my personality has provided me with a good deal of compassion, and a desire to make things better in my own small way, among other things. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn what I learn from it, and continue looking for balance in my life.

Last night I came home from work feeling stressed, and really looking forward to my meditation time. I was aware that I needed to stop for awhile, but more than that I also felt that I needed some help with all of it. I was too burdened, in that moment, to even know what kind of help I was seeking. I was eager to just sit and rest, and let the answers come.

As I closed my eyes and grounded my body, the voice of God within me reminded me clearly to keep it simple, and come as a child. I felt instantly eased as my body caught up with the fact that I could be very gentle in my attention to myself, because there was nothing else to be concerned about. As I sat in communication with the God of my heart, I was able to be the center of my own universe, knowing that all existed for my good, much like a child involved in some kind of wonderful, creative play. In my simple meditation, I watched as my own electric blue life force energy coursed through my body, aware at the same time of Father/Mother God standing over my shoulder, watching over me, shielding me, and orchestrating everything for good.

I know myself as a child of God, made in her image, creator without limit of my own sacred life. But I don’t think I’d ever perceived myself as God’s child, beloved, precious and safe, seeing myself as God does, without the need to do anything to earn my place here. I sometimes think that all human worry stems from the very common but flawed thinking that if we could just fulfill some role a little better we just might be allowed to stay.

There’s a part in Neale Walsch’s Coversations With God in which God says, “You can’t hear my truth until you stop telling me yours.” I believe that’s what happened last night in my meditation. When I finally released my own agenda, stopped trying to control the outcome of everything in my thinking, and just sat quietly waiting for the truth I sought, the voice of my knowing reminded me that we are, all of us, held in the benevolent hands of infinite good. I know in my head that I am safe, and that divine intelligence is at work. But I really appreciate those times when I know it in my heart, and my body, as well. It’s balm for the soul of the scared child that exists as a part of me, and for the fairly capable grown-up who sometimes needs a very solid reminder that she, and the rest of this planet, are safe in the perfect design of ongoing creation.

May this tool be a blessing. . .