Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Finding the Gift in Endings
We generally welcome new beginnings, looking forward to the possibilities inherent in a fresh start or in novel experiences that we feel will be good for us. Endings, on the other hand, often aren’t perceived as positive. When something important in our lives ends there can be feelings of failure or regret, even if we are relieved about being finished.
In order to create in this life we must also be able to destroy, and therein lies the grace in endings. When we hold on to something that no longer serves us, the message that we give to this infinitely-creative universe is that we intend to stay right where we are. If we instead choose to end what it is that no longer serves us, even if the ending is painful, it makes room for what we are meant to grow into.
Endings can be a vast gift to the spirit. Although we may not see them this way in the moment, endings allow us to collect our energy from the past and bring ourselves squarely into the present, which is important because creation always occurs in the Now.
I’ve noticed for myself that I’d really rather avoid endings. I hold on, at least on an energetic level, to the person or situation whose time in my life has past. Endings can feel like a death, and in a very real way they are. Truly letting go of something means the death of the person we used to be, whose roles, priorities and perspectives defined us in a certain way. Letting go forces us to evolve, and can be scary because it requires moving into as-yet-unknown parts of ourselves.
I’m learning that I need to fully experience the meaning and emotion surrounding the endings in my life, rather than try to bury my feelings and quickly move on. Whether the ending was full of conflict or felt appropriate and supported, we need to take the time to process the life experience we’ve just been through so that we can own the gifts it has provided.
Endings can bring us more awareness of our capacity for love or understanding or of our own power, make clear our need to set firm boundaries, help find our areas of resistance to what is, or countless other steps in our continuing evolution.
We can sit in meditation or prayer and allow our understanding to come to us. We can spend quiet, undistracted time just feeling our emotions and letting ourselves acknowledge them. We can process our experience through journaling or writing poetry. In whatever way we choose to connect with the infinite wisdom that lives within us, it’s important to take the time to find and assimilate the lessons and the growth so that we can carry them into our future.
May you take time to gather the gifts that come when something ends, and may this tool be a blessing.