Surrendering, Again

And again, and again. We’ve probably all heard the term “sweet surrender,” and there are times when I am acutely aware of just how sweet it really is.

How easy it is for me to take on the weight of the universe, or at least the weight of the situations playing out in my little corner of the world. Sometimes it feels like I need to act, to help, to fix, or to contribute what I hope will turn out to be a bit of light in the darkness. And when the situation of the moment is a particularly challenging one, heavy with the conflicting agendas, perspectives and fears of other people, my energy gears up to try to manage all of it.

Although I am not fighting, it feels like a battle to my body and my spirit. My contribution to the situation becomes a huge burden, fraught with responsibility and the feeling that there is simply no way to win.

But most gratefully time and life experience are very effective teachers. I remembered this morning that I have been here before, more than once. I have faced times when I felt at a loss about how to bring about the best outcome, and when I felt that I lacked the resources I needed to keep going. In those times, the most important and effective thing that I did was very consciously choose to surrender.

I remembered difficult times in the past, when my frequent, simple prayer to God was, “May the best happen for all.” It was my mantra, an affirmation of what I wanted and what eventually came to pass.

Rather than get caught up in the “how” of a situation’s best resolution and struggle to make it happen, I can surrender. By turning the “how” over to God, I create so much more space for myself to just move forward as the best me I know how to be, without fighting against anyone else’s choices or expression. Not only do I bring peace to myself, but I open the door for a more profound wisdom to play out.

In letting go I experience the sweet truth that I really never walk alone, and that all I need do is my best. As long as I’m doing that, God within me guides the rest, and all is well.

May you know the peace and clarity that come with surrender, and may this tool be a blessing. . .

Mothering Yourself

Regardless of our gender, our age, or our ability to take care of ourselves, we all need mother. Mother is a deep, archetypal force in our collective consciousness that begins in childhood with our birth mother’s role in fulfilling our need for unconditional acceptance, love and safety. As we mature and find our own way in the world, in order to be our best selves we must grow in our ability to mother ourselves.

I pass a small farm on my way to work in the morning, and lately I’ve been enjoying watching the young calves standing near their moms, sometimes feeding but mostly just standing close-by. They seem to be trying to maintain just a bit of physical contact. We know that human infants are healthier and less anxious with regular, close physical contact, and I’m sure it’s true with many other species as well.

We accept that mother is important for the young, but what about as we grow older? It’s not common for adults to be aware of or express a need for mother, but I believe it’s always there. Our mothers may no longer be present in our lives, or we may not look to them to provide the love and acceptance that we seek, but we need it nonetheless.

I’m finding that my adult self experiences a need for mothering in many different ways. Sometimes it’s that feeling of being alone or lonely in the middle of my busy, people-filled day. Other times I’ve come to recognize it when I’m frustrated or disappointed with someone who isn’t acting in accordance with how I think the world should operate. When I’m too focused on taking care of business and not enough on myself, and I start feeling resentful or overwhelmed, it’s a sure sign that I need mothering.

The first step in mothering ourselves is asking “What do I need?” Just stopping to ask the question is an act of mothering, because that’s what “mother energy" does; it seeks to nurture and protect. In the middle of the busiest day there is always something that I can do to take care of myself, even if it is only to stop and take three deep breaths, or smile and say thank you to the divine wisdom that breathes in me.

We may be grown-ups, but the child we were lives in us and contributes her perspective to all of our experience. We may be better able to reason through things and navigate the world effectively, but the dear child within never stops seeking mother.

Ask yourself often what you need, and do your best to listen carefully and nurture that need. You may be needing more quiet time for reflection and introspection, or you may need more fun. Whatever it is, engage it fully. Get on the floor with crayons and paper. Roughhouse with the dog. Lie on your back in the grass and watch the clouds float by. Sing to yourself, and for yourself. Brush your hair. Take time to watch the geese as they fly honking overhead. Make faces at your dinner partner and giggle, or better yet, show up with some big, wax lips. Stop and let yourself do absolutely nothing for five minutes, and see how delicious it is. Set a timer if you have to. The possibilities are endless.

May you always mother the child within you, and may this tool be a blessing. . .
(Dedicated to my daughter, Mara, with love)

Letting God Do the Work

When the alarm woke me for work this morning, it interrupted an amazing dream. In the dream I faced a series of challenges, and in the middle of each challenge I noticed feeling pushed and unsure how to proceed, just as I do in real life when I’m not sure how to handle something.

What was different about this dream is that none of the trying circumstances continued to play out. Instead of engaging them, I chose to breathe into my heart, and then simply tell myself that God is at work here.

In my dream I moved through this series of obstacles quickly. They weren’t really big things, but I was aware of knowing exactly how to manage them. As I reminded myself that God was at work in the situation, the obstacle ended and a new one started. I didn’t get caught up in the stories, but just breathed into my heart, and remembered that it was all God at work.

I felt such peace when I awoke. I also felt empowered by being able to live my own truth in my dream, rather than become caught up in some story that took on a life of its own and left me feeling like I had no choice but to get dragged along.

I was reminded that by feeling buffeted by circumstances, we are provided with opportunities to choose to see a higher purpose in our experience, and with that choice the highest comes to pass.

It’s an act of faith to let go of every challenge we face and trust that in doing so we allow divine consciousness to do its best work. But that’s exactly what happens. It can be very scary to choose not to worry about things that are uncertain or seem wrong somehow, but the more often we take those leaps of faith and do manage to let go, the more able we are to get out of our own way and allow creation to work through us.

My dream reminded me beautifully of the divine purpose of this life, of its challenges and how to handle them, and of the truth of myself as an unlimited creator. I am so grateful for the infinite good that expresses in all things, even my dreams!

May you lay down your burdens large and small to God’s infinite good, and may this tool be a blessing. . .

Laying Your Burden Down

I read this article in the "Daily Om" and knew that I wanted to re post it here.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

We all know the feeling of walking through life as if we are carrying the huge burden of our worries and stresses on our backs and shoulders, struggling to keep moving forward. There is no real way to move freely and fluidly in such a situation, and we are all longing to lay our burdens down. Just imagining that it would be possible to do such a thing can be enough to elicit a sigh of relief and a feeling of lightness. 

The human imagination is a powerful tool, and we can use it to take journeys to faraway places without ever leaving our home. Because of this, we too can lay our burdens down at the feet of a divine being such as the great Mother, Buddha or a mountain. Releasing ourselves from that which we can’t handle on our own. No matter how smart we are, how capable we are, or how hard we work, no one can single-handedly cope with all the worries that we tend to take on in the course of our lives. And, we aren’t designed to do so. Our wellbeing depends upon our ability to hand over that which we can no longer carry by ourselves.

Visualizing yourself carrying your burdens to the feet of someone or something much bigger than you can be a powerful daily practice. To begin, sit with your eyes closed and envision an all powerful, supremely comforting being in what ever form that takes for you, standing at the end of a road. See yourself carrying a large sack, box, or other container, imagining that all your worries are inside it. Watch as you make your way to the being of your choice, and lay your baggage down at their feet. Allow yourself to feel the lightness and relief of this action, express your gratitude, and surrender. You will be amazed by how this simple meditation can liberate you from a burden you were never meant to carry.


May you lay down your burdens at the feet of your God and may this tool be a blessing...

Being Centered and Safe in the "Home of Yourself"

There is a place I can go that is always peaceful, where I hear my truth without distraction and can rest in the knowledge of who I am. It is the "home of myself."

During my time with the Church of Divine Man, and its teaching arm, the Berkeley Psychic Institute, I became aware of the question of whether I was in, or out of, my body. Up to that point I had heard about “having an out-of-body experience” as something to strive for, with the expectation that being out of the body was how we connected with something greater than ourselves.

I soon learned that being out of the body was no big deal. I was out of my body most of the time, and if I’m honest with myself that's still true much of the time today. It goes along with being human, learning to become fully aware of ourselves as God.

Spirit is not “out there,” but within us. It doesn’t exist in our thinking, and so we can’t intellectualize it. We can try; I know I do. But in the end we know ourselves as eternal spirit, and see God in all things, when we are present with what is happening, noticing the body’s reactions, feeling the emotions that arise, and choosing consciously in that moment who we will be in the midst of all of it.

I’m finding that I’m much more true to myself when I feel my way through things, rather than think my way through. My thinking can lead me down the path of being reactive or defensive, and can limit my ability to see my highest truth about how I want to proceed in any situation.

But if I first choose to just sit within myself and fully notice the experience, my emotions are felt and honored and processed. Sitting with emotions can be uncomfortable, and that’s why we tend to think and react instead. But if I go within and allow myself to really experience how I feel about something, I can usually move forward from a place of peace, forgiveness and understanding that all is here for my good.

One simple technique for going home to yourself is “pulling the aura in.” When we attend to things out in the world, and are affected by them, our aura expands to encompass all that we are attending to. The aura is the energy field around the body that many believe contain our spiritual energy, and they can get very big!

You can try pulling your aura in like this:  Without effort, allow yourself to “see” or sense how large your aura is. Does it seem to envelop a much larger amount of space than just yourself? If so, begin to pull the edges closer to you, and allow everything that your aura had contained to be released to divine consciousness.

When you sense that your aura is about 12 to 18 inches out from your body and no more, take a moment and notice how that feels. You may be aware of your body quieting down, and feeling less anxious or responsible.

I do this sometimes at night when I’m having trouble falling asleep. I bring all of my “energy” back so that all I’m aware of is my body and about 12 inches beyond it. My thoughts quiet, I'm aware of my heart beating, and I exist fully in that space without distraction. In that moment, I am one with myself. I am.

As you move into the "home of yourself," you will likely find even greater amounts of peace and joy!

May you come home to yourself often, and may this tool be a blessing. . .

Holding the High Watch

I heard someone say long ago that it doesn’t matter what we do; what matters is the energy we’re in when we do it. How very true. Our vibration in any given moment gives rise to our experience, and affects those close to us and ultimately the entire world.

We have a choice in every situation what energy vibration we will “own.” Thank Goodness we have a lifetime to remember this, because it’s very easy to forget when we get caught up in some dramatic human moment.

Someone came to me today angry at a person we both know, and as I listened I certainly understood his point of view. It probably shouldn’t have happened, but it did, and my colleague needed to talk about it and find a way to rectify the situation.

As he described the situation, what I heard behind the words was that he felt judged, and diminished. It’s a frustrating situation, and it would have been easy for me to “match” his vibration and move into anger myself. But it was a good opportunity for me to “hold the high watch.”

There are countless opportunities for us to do this. It simply means standing firm in truth no matter what is going on around us. In this situation, I listened, and told him that I understood how he felt. And then I gently suggested that the other person is doing the best she can, and that it really is not personal. I mentioned that perhaps she gives us an opportunity to find the best, most loving parts of ourselves.

We can also hold the high watch without saying a thing. It is an energetic “space” that we choose that actually speaks louder than words. By just standing quietly in our own highest truth about something, we allow others to recognize and match it.

It reminds me of what happens here at work sometimes, when gossip starts. I try really hard to stay out of it, and am mostly successful. I’ve noticed that when gossip does start, if I hold loving thoughts but don’t participate, the gossip stalls. As sensitive energetic beings, we are aware of the vibrations of others. When just one person holds the high watch, standing firmly in the truth of the divine in everyone and in all things, there is light in the darkness..

May your high watch shine divine light in the world, and may this tool be a blessing. . .

Letting It Be Enough

I heard the notion of “enough” discussed in a way that caught my attention recently. As I thought about it, it made me realize what a gift it is to notice that we have, in all things, enough.

We expend a great deal of energy working on accumulating enough – enough money, enough connection and intimacy, enough success, enough leisure and play and health. The list is endless. The quest seems to take on a life of its own, and the seeking to have becomes the focus rather than simply enjoying what we have. What we think and believe manifests in our experience, and so seeking reinforces the reality of lack.

I believe that what people feel most lacking in is love. The yearning may be unconscious and the sense of lack can manifest through many different thoughts, but what we really seek is enough love. The part of us that is disconnected from our true selves cannot imagine ourselves worthy of the amount of love that we want and need.

This can cause such conflict in relationships, when we get caught up in expectation about how someone should treat us, then we can feel that we were not loved enough. It can happen in the important relationships in our lives, or with perfect strangers. If I get ticked off at the driver who cuts me off on the freeway, it could be argued that the core belief behind all of it is that the stranger didn’t love me enough to treat me differently.

As with all things, I’ve noticed what a really small shift of awareness it is to move my thoughts from darkness to light, and from a lie to the truth. The ego lives to preserve our identity as individuals, and is in constant battle with anyone or anything that might seem to threaten us. But I can thank my ego for its concern and then pull my energy back from its worry, and say “it is enough.”

The love I have is enough, even when hurrying people act without thinking, or when others don’t put me at the top of their priority list. The connection I have with family and friends is enough, even when we are all busy and moving through life’s demands and challenges as gracefully as we can. The resources of money and time that I have are enough, and have always been enough, to provide me with the security and opportunity that I need to navigate this glorious life.

It brings to mind the words to one of Unity’s prayers:

The inexhaustible resource of spirit
is equal to every demand.
There is no reality in lack.
Abundance is here and now manifest

It’s all in how we choose to see it.

Thank you, God, that I can be worried over a perception that something important is missing, but then affirm that “it is enough,” and I realize that it is so.

May you know "enough" as the essence of who you are, and may this tool be a blessing. . .